Category: Nightlife
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Booty Call Me Maybe
The first time I really spoke to Trevor Lawson, we discussed alcoholic whipped cream. “What do you do with this?” my friend Jennifer inquired. “Or rather, who do you do with this?” Trevor Lawson let out a polite chuckle. Jennifer was immersed in the ancient art of being a wingwoman, the origins of which date…
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Asshole in Sheep’s Clothing
Fresh pieces of a mutilated cat lay along Delaware Avenue. Its body has been crushed beneath bicycle tires. What was once a cat is now a torn-apart, unrecognizable mess. Stray cats slink up and lick the delicious cat-aver. Dripping ooze falls from their whiskered lips, as they devour their feline friend. Cat-ibalism. There’s one glittering…
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Naughty Secretary Wishes and Caviar Dreams
The office wall clock strikes 8 a.m. I’m at my desk, polishing up an article about the Alden Senior Citizens Gospel Choir, with the working title “Never too old for Jesus, Christ.” My editor just might like it. The draft left him speechless. Rubbing my bloodshot eyes, I consider making a fourth trip to the coffee…
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Movie Date at the Video Liquidators Theatre
My estranged friend and former colleague, Rory from Manitoba, has come for a visit. We’re trying to decide what to do with our Saturday night. He has crossed the border with grace and elegance, so the least I can do is show him a proper Buffalo Night Out. “Listen, I had an idea yesterday, for my…
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Rave Scenes and Roadside Assistance
I’m in my apartment, waiting for my date James to arrive. We met a few days ago, after being isolated together at the LL Cool J concert. We had both been day drinking with my downstairs neighbors beforehand. I guess we must have lost track of the rest of them, because we ended up in…
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Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Innocent
A fire burns inside of #54. It’s a soft, welcoming cocoon of holiday cheer. Outside, snowflakes ferociously converge like bumblebees, and I hope Dan will get here soon. He’s my date for the night, to the Pearl Street Grill Christmas Party. I’m hoping that he gets here soon, because I’m ever-so-steadily sipping bourbon from a…
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