Category: Porn
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House of Tards
Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, and Louis C.K. walk into a bar. “What are ya having, sweetcheeks?” asks the barmaid. “Barely-legal virgins,” says Harvey. “Little boys,” Kevin says. “Want to see my dick?” says Louie. “Ummmm…” says the barmaid. “There’s a punchline here somewhere.” When it comes to sexual assault, happiness is the best…
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Doomed Chemistry
Ever have a crush on someone from afar? Someone you only know a little bit, but they seem like your “type”? Well, I did. It’s 10 pm and I’m driving to Murray’s house. Porch lights flick on as I drive down his street. I pull to the curb. It’s still open-window weather, and I overhear…
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It Started With A Syringe
I was at work the other day and ended up having a conversation about losing your virginity. Believe it or not, I wasn’t the one who brought it up. “I was thirteen,” my co-worker, Ginnifer with the Blue Mani, said. “I was fifteen,” said Shelby with the Mauve Lip Liner. “And I’ve been on birth…
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Memories of Last Weekend
I’m a nymphomaniac courtesan at Motel 6 on Niagara Falls Boulevard making predictions about love. There’s no better place to write about romance than a seedy motel. It’s where you can spark up some pcp, listen to the night’s heavy breathing, dip into the ink and sink into your thoughts. My adventures in the name…
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Working the Corner in Niagara Falls
It’s 11:40 a.m. and four old men are collected, like a clump of fungus, in the parking lot of the corner 7-11. They hold 40 oz. Ballentine’s Ales in dirty, gloved grips and discuss an impending “disability check.” When I walk by, coughs and groans bubble from their raspy throats. It’s been a long time…