Category: college
-
The Slut Diaries: Part I
There’s playing with fire and getting burned, and then there’s dousing yourself in lighter fluid and going full-on Richard Pryor. Ever since the emotionally-abusive cycle with Billy ended, after he spazzed off on me in a jealous rage and things went totally caput, I’ve propelled myself into a Sluttylicious Spree of epic proportions, with party…
-
House of Tards
Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, and Louis C.K. walk into a bar. “What are ya having, sweetcheeks?” asks the barmaid. “Barely-legal virgins,” says Harvey. “Little boys,” Kevin says. “Want to see my dick?” says Louie. “Ummmm…” says the barmaid. “There’s a punchline here somewhere.” When it comes to sexual assault, happiness is the best…
-
Romantic Retardation*
*In the clinical sense of the word Another Memorial Day, another drama. That’s my life. For the past two months, I was seeing this guy “Billy,” an electrician with peroxided hair. I thought that I knew the real him. Our passionate connection made me feel like we were sheltered under the sunny boardwalks of Venice…
-
It Started With A Syringe
I was at work the other day and ended up having a conversation about losing your virginity. Believe it or not, I wasn’t the one who brought it up. “I was thirteen,” my co-worker, Ginnifer with the Blue Mani, said. “I was fifteen,” said Shelby with the Mauve Lip Liner. “And I’ve been on birth…
Private Magazine 