Tag: dating
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Couch Surfin’ All Over the World: Part Three
I’m driving around the airport in circles. Harry’s plane just landed at noon. He will be emerging outside at the Arrivals area any minute now. The weather is a perfect Buffalonian 22 degrees and dropping, with delicate snowflakes fluttering around peacefully. I hope he brought a coat. After my third lap down Genesee Street and…
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Couch Surfin’ All Over the World: Part Two
38,000 feet and landing in the bright blue sky. We’ve begun our steady descent. It looks normal enough, landing in Cancun, and I figure I’ll be in time for Thanksgiving dinner with Harold, somewhere rustic, street food with lime in the moonlight. Depressingly, after power-walking while applying lip gloss thinking I’m about to collect my…
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Always a Side, Never a Bride
Jeremy the wine clerk won me over for the simple fact that I can’t “Just Say No” to a Gen X-er who looks like he fronted a 90’s band like Fuel or Bush. In fact, Jeremy plays guitar. I saw him working at the wine store last week and commented that I had never…
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No Ifs, Ands, Or Big Fat Butts
This story isn’t about butts. It’s about romance. But what is “romance?” No one seems to know, not even the dictionary. The dictionary says it’s, first and foremost, a “novel, movie, or genre of fiction.” Google says it’s “a feeling” associated with “love.” I always thought romance was something sold in the Victoria’s Secret…
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Romantic Retardation*
*In the clinical sense of the word Another Memorial Day, another drama. That’s my life. For the past two months, I was seeing this guy “Billy,” an electrician with peroxided hair. I thought that I knew the real him. Our passionate connection made me feel like we were sheltered under the sunny boardwalks of Venice…
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It Started With A Syringe
I was at work the other day and ended up having a conversation about losing your virginity. Believe it or not, I wasn’t the one who brought it up. “I was thirteen,” my co-worker, Ginnifer with the Blue Mani, said. “I was fifteen,” said Shelby with the Mauve Lip Liner. “And I’ve been on birth…
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Memories of Last Weekend
I’m a nymphomaniac courtesan at Motel 6 on Niagara Falls Boulevard making predictions about love. There’s no better place to write about romance than a seedy motel. It’s where you can spark up some pcp, listen to the night’s heavy breathing, dip into the ink and sink into your thoughts. My adventures in the name…
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WTF R U TALKING ABOUT: VOL. 1
Thank you to all the men who send me messages on Facebook. Please don’t stop! Whether it’s to discuss their relationships, sex lives, or secretive forays into bisexuality, I had no idea my blog would resonate so well with men. I’m blessed to learn what I have about the male mind, which is… that…
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Working the Corner in Niagara Falls
It’s 11:40 a.m. and four old men are collected, like a clump of fungus, in the parking lot of the corner 7-11. They hold 40 oz. Ballentine’s Ales in dirty, gloved grips and discuss an impending “disability check.” When I walk by, coughs and groans bubble from their raspy throats. It’s been a long time…
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The Silver Fox
I have a silver-haired suitor named Mick. He’s a fortysomething banker who proudly goes commando. As Sunday morning turns into afternoon, light fog permeates the air. A misty gray sky hangs above downtown. It’s calm after last night’s drinking crowd. Mick is driving me around in his ‘01 Beamer, six-foot-two frame squished behind the wheel.…
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