Category: Relationships
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How to Have Sex in a Church (and Get Away With It)
“Got no religion / Don’t need no friends / Got all I want / And I don’t need to pretend” – Black Sabbath Are you turned on by dripping hot candle wax? What about sipping wine in a robe, or whipping yourself in a cold, dark room? It’s easy to become aroused in church. Inhale…
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Submitted For Your Approval
Inside a house far back from the street dwells a man with a cross to bear. He’s an even-tempered man, albeit a very reclusive man, who may or may not dose himself with MDMA, psychotherapy-style. If we could see through his curtains, which are perpetually closed, we would see him reading by the fire. In…
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Filthy Confessions
“What’s your fanta-ta-ta-sy?” -Ludacris The first adult film I ever watched was called “Naughty Fantasies,” or something like that, from Baby Doll Productions. I found it in a CD case for Now That’s What I Call Music: Volume 18 that my college roommate left lying around. She was out of town when I made the…
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Doomed Chemistry
Ever have a crush on someone from afar? Someone you only know a little bit, but they seem like your “type”? Well, I did. It’s 10 pm and I’m driving to Murray’s house. Porch lights flick on as I drive down his street. I pull to the curb. It’s still open-window weather, and I overhear…
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The Pain. The Torture. The Foreplay.
A Halloween Retrospective Halloween’s ghosts are gone. The vamps went back to their coffins. Headless Horsemen rode off into the woods, since they weren’t getting any. Zombies looking for tacos had to settle for poutine, or perhaps they fed on their own puke. Who knows? Who’s to say? Spirits of Allentown shut their doors a…
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