Category: Travel
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Cupid, Cuckolds, and the Cherry on Top
A Valentine’s Special It’s a cold winter Saturday, the time of night when fog creeps into this part of downtown and hangs over the cobblestone streets. It seems haunted, eerie, like something from the days of Jack the Ripper. Smoke clouds emanate from a factory on the horizon. I’m wandering the casino with Louis and…
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Romantic Retardation*
*In the clinical sense of the word Another Memorial Day, another drama. That’s my life. For the past two months, I was seeing this guy “Billy,” an electrician with peroxided hair. I thought that I knew the real him. Our passionate connection made me feel like we were sheltered under the sunny boardwalks of Venice…
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How to Have Sex in a Church (and Get Away With It)
“Got no religion / Don’t need no friends / Got all I want / And I don’t need to pretend” – Black Sabbath Are you turned on by dripping hot candle wax? What about sipping wine in a robe, or whipping yourself in a cold, dark room? It’s easy to become aroused in church. Inhale…
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Waking up on Wednesday
It’s a schitzo kind of morning in a hotel room on the outskirts of town. Despite how thick the blinds are, the sun manages to shoot across the unmade bed. Beside me lies a snoozing male companion. Um, what’s his name? No, seriously…what was his name? I jump out of bed and tiptoe across the…
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Memories of Last Weekend
I’m a nymphomaniac courtesan at Motel 6 on Niagara Falls Boulevard making predictions about love. There’s no better place to write about romance than a seedy motel. It’s where you can spark up some pcp, listen to the night’s heavy breathing, dip into the ink and sink into your thoughts. My adventures in the name…
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Working the Corner in Niagara Falls
It’s 11:40 a.m. and four old men are collected, like a clump of fungus, in the parking lot of the corner 7-11. They hold 40 oz. Ballentine’s Ales in dirty, gloved grips and discuss an impending “disability check.” When I walk by, coughs and groans bubble from their raspy throats. It’s been a long time…
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Splitting the Bill in a Post-Feminist World
First dates are like fire drills – sometimes they are real, but most of the time they are false alarms, but we are still lucky to get out of them alive. I’m moving up from not introducing my boyfriends to my parents to completely not telling anyone I’m going on a date at all. I…
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Inside the Boulevard Motel
A couple years ago, a Motel 6 on the outskirts of town – or maybe it was a Super 8 – found itself under investigation. The shabby motel housed an intricate prostitution ring, and plenty of drugs. The week of the bust, a girl’s dead body was found in one of the rooms. It appeared to…
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