Category: Uncategorized
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The Blind Leading the Blind(fold): How to Spot Serial Killers on Dating Apps
I recently had the displeasure of being zip-tied in a man’s home. But that’s what I get for not paying attention to the “red flags” that Teddy constantly waves through the air like he just don’t care; I was too preoccupied with my own delusions and fantasies to notice them. In fact, Teddy and I…
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How to Have Sex in a Church (and Get Away With It)
“Got no religion / Don’t need no friends / Got all I want / And I don’t need to pretend” – Black Sabbath Are you turned on by dripping hot candle wax? What about sipping wine in a robe, or whipping yourself in a cold, dark room? It’s easy to become aroused in church. Inhale…
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Submitted For Your Approval
Inside a house far back from the street dwells a man with a cross to bear. He’s an even-tempered man, albeit a very reclusive man, who may or may not dose himself with MDMA, psychotherapy-style. If we could see through his curtains, which are perpetually closed, we would see him reading by the fire. In…
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Filthy Confessions
“What’s your fanta-ta-ta-sy?” -Ludacris The first adult film I ever watched was called “Naughty Fantasies,” or something like that, from Baby Doll Productions. I found it in a CD case for Now That’s What I Call Music: Volume 18 that my college roommate left lying around. She was out of town when I made the…
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Shameless Sponsored Content: British Sex Toys x ThePrivateMag
There is no doubt that dating apps have experienced a phenomenal rise in recent years. With the sheer ubiquity of smartphones and the wide availability of broadband and WIFI, people have the world at their fingertips. Today, you can meet your future partner online and they can be located anywhere in the world. Online dating has become more…
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Doomed Chemistry
Ever have a crush on someone from afar? Someone you only know a little bit, but they seem like your “type”? Well, I did. It’s 10 pm and I’m driving to Murray’s house. Porch lights flick on as I drive down his street. I pull to the curb. It’s still open-window weather, and I overhear…
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The Pain. The Torture. The Foreplay.
A Halloween Retrospective Halloween’s ghosts are gone. The vamps went back to their coffins. Headless Horsemen rode off into the woods, since they weren’t getting any. Zombies looking for tacos had to settle for poutine, or perhaps they fed on their own puke. Who knows? Who’s to say? Spirits of Allentown shut their doors a…
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Waking up on Wednesday
It’s a schitzo kind of morning in a hotel room on the outskirts of town. Despite how thick the blinds are, the sun manages to shoot across the unmade bed. Beside me lies a snoozing male companion. Um, what’s his name? No, seriously…what was his name? I jump out of bed and tiptoe across the…
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Memories of Last Weekend
I’m a nymphomaniac courtesan at Motel 6 on Niagara Falls Boulevard making predictions about love. There’s no better place to write about romance than a seedy motel. It’s where you can spark up some pcp, listen to the night’s heavy breathing, dip into the ink and sink into your thoughts. My adventures in the name…
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WTF R U TALKING ABOUT: VOL. 1
Thank you to all the men who send me messages on Facebook. Please don’t stop! Whether it’s to discuss their relationships, sex lives, or secretive forays into bisexuality, I had no idea my blog would resonate so well with men. I’m blessed to learn what I have about the male mind, which is… that…
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